So, here goes nothing ;)
God has been teaching many lessons of late. But the one foremost in my mind at the moment is Patience.
Now, I'm certain most of you know what a big deal patience is for me.... I am by no means, patient. :P
But, that doesn't stop God from teaching it to me. Goodness knows how much I need to learn it. :}
The other day, the pain from these present trials was so intense, I didn't know where to go, or what to do... except to God, and to surrender it all over again.
I have trouble surrendering things. Because I always like the silly sense of security in thinking I still have some sort of say over my future.
That is very silly. Because I've never had any say. God has always had final say. But He holds back His best, until we are willing to give Him our all.
So, I've been learning to give it all to Christ. But leaving it there, and not worrying about it anymore has been a problem.
Now that I've given it, I need to trust it to Him, and know that His choice is best. No matter how much it hurts right now. In the end it will be worth it.
Giving my future and all over to Christ has been a great relief... but I get impatient at times. I see things happening with others, and I want it fixed now!
Lately I've seen how I trust Him with myself, and my future... but I have trouble trust others to Him.
I almost don't care what happens to me in the future. Just so long as those around me come out okay.
This is where I have yet to learn patience. ;)
The other day, in the intensity of the pain, I asked God to show me what was coming next in all of this.... He led me to....
It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
That was sufficient to shut me up. :P
What right do I have to ask what is next? Can't I trust Him with the future as I could the past?
So, in all the hurt, and the uncertainties... I can trust, and rest in God. And be patient, and wait on His timing.
As of yet, everything that has happened on His time, has been the best. I can wait for it. :)
Also, been asking for the strength to make it through this, the worst trial I've had as of yet... then this promise of God comes to mind....
- But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
With such promises, how can I be restive under His restraining hand? Is He not all powerful? Is He not enough? He will bring it all to an end in His time. And oh! what a happy consummation of so much worry, fear, and heartache. :D
To God be the glory. Not only in pain, grief and heartache... but also in joy, love and hope. :D