Yes, the title is a legitimate question. (just in case you were wondering) Here's why...
Ever since I was little I've had a burden for guys. I've had a burden to help them, be a comfort to them, be a sister to them.... but in wanting to be those things, I didn't bother to learn how to be any of those things.
It has become more and more evident to me how crucial the role of a woman is in the Kingdom. It bothers me more and more to see the way our role as women is being abused... not by the men - it's us women abusing it.
I've always had a dislike for the way girls carry on so about the silliest things.... (I know, I do it often *is working on that*) so my way of getting away from it was to go out and "be one of the guys" playing tag, football, you name it. My solution to the problem I saw, was to shirk my duty as a young lady and try to be a boy.
Getting into my teens, I saw that being "one of the guys" as far as playing their rough games probably wasn't the best idea... so I got to the place of just talking to them as if I was one of them. Thinking that it would somehow be an encouragement to them.... had another think coming.
It began to dawn on me that just talking to the guys as if I were one of them wasn't doing a lick of good. Guys need girls to be girls. Not men.
By being tough and unfeeling we don't do them any good. So I went to the extreme of being "soft" to the point of not standing up for what I know to be right. Not holding to strict standards in conversation... which is almost more harmful than trying to be a guy. And in the process hurt some people, and was myself, deeply hurt by others.
What is it to be a true woman.... by God's standard? What attributes does a godly woman have? What am I doing?
1 Timothy 2:9-10
In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
Sorry, but silliness isn't needed. Sure, it's fun to goof off at times. But when it's all the time, that's when it becomes a problem. But we need to understand there is a difference between silly, and levity.
Levity is having good, clean, honest fun. Truly enjoying yourself, with others if the situation allows for it, but not dependent on the presence of others.
Silliness is obnoxious. It's overbearing. It's often disgusting.
2 Timothy 3:5-7
Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
I'm sorry, but that doesn't sound appealing to me... which brings me to the next point.
A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
To understand a proverb, and the interpretation; the words of the wise, and their dark sayings.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Being a lady doesn't mean sitting aside looking pretty, not bothering our "pretty heads" with anything other than the latest gossip. We're wives and mothers in training. (some have made it through training and are now putting what they've learned into practice)
Our homes are a shambles ladies: and we're to blame. No, we can't blame it on the last generation. We can't say "If Mom had been a better mom" or "Mom never taught me that" big whoop. Chances are your mom didn't know about it to teach you. It's called "due diligence" look in the Bible, find what your role as a woman is, and learn it. No one can make you learn anything. It has to be you.
The way women are today is our problem. We can't wait for others to get their act together; we need to get our act together. To go on as is isn't fair to the guys, and it's not pleasing to God.
Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of His mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;
So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
To know wisdom and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding;
To receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, and judgement, and equity;
To give subtilty to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:
Knowledge is great.... but utterly useless without the wisdom to use it. Wisdom is something that is greatly lacking in today's society. Let's not add to the problem.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path.
When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul;
Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee:
Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:
So shalt thou find favor and good understanding in the sight of God and man.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
We can better serve the Father when we understand our surroundings. We can't fight a battle we don't understand.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
What about those of us who aren't married yet? Does this mean we can do whatever we want until we're married?
All those rebellious wives you see around you.... started out as rebellions daughters. Likewise, most faithful wives you see, started out as faithful daughters.
As daughters we need to practice submission, by submitting to our Dad's. No matter what sort of "quirky" ideas he has... what makes you think your husband won't have similar quirks?
Part of submission is accepting instruction....
My son; hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:
For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.
I could go on forever about all this... there is so much to know. So much to learn. So much to do.
I'm tired of going from one extreme to the other. I'm tired of hurting people, and being hurt, because I didn't hold myself to the highest standards, or hold the guy to strict boundaries because I didn't think about it. One can not go through life mindlessly going with the flow... there is so much more to life.
Often times it seems rude to set strict boundaries and stick to them... but if you really love your brothers in Christ, you will hold them to it out of respect.
We need to set boundaries, and hold to them. Here's why:
To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words;
Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God.
For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead.
None that go unto her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life.
Notice anything there? "Which flattereth with her words" this girl says what she thinks others want to hear. She's not holding to strict standards... "forsaketh the guide of her youth; and forgetteth the covenant of her God."
For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
Once you let down your guard, and start talking the way you think is most likely to be accepted, your standards are clouded, and you soon forget them. Not meaning to, it just happens. Once you forget your standards your ways become "moveable" and cause others to stumble.
It's very easy to be a strange woman. It's being a virtuous woman that is hard. It goes against our human nature. It's easier to just say what you know others want to hear, rather than risk starting a debate. But....
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
So, back to the original question... What am I doing?
From here on out, I intend to really study, and seek wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I'm going to put more thought into what I am doing, and where it is leading, not only me, but others under my influence. And I'm going to try harder at being submissive to my Dad.
This is not a time where we can sit back and wait for things to change... we need to think, and work hard. But most of all pray hard. There is so much to be done for the Kingdom! A lot of things are being left undone because we are being careless about our role as women. Most of all as sisters and daughters.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou exellest them all.
Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Father help me to be faithful in all things....