Waiting... Still...

 So, everything has flipped upside down.   My worst fears are happening right before my eyes.... I can't do a thing about it... just have to stand back and watch. 

 The world could end today and I wouldn't care.    The pain is so intense.... yet I feel nothing... how can that be? 

 There is nothing left... and yet it's still being taken away.   Thought I had surrendered... why this? 

 When you give your all, where does God find the "more" to be purged? 

 Walking as one in a fog.  I feel like the "end" has come... but the worst is yet to be. 

 How can it get worse?  It's like walking in a fog, uncertain of where the cliff is. You know you're close... but can't stop walking. 

 Waiting for the "crash"... but through it all God has given such a peace. 

 I'm not one to give in, and cry. I'm not one to admit defeat.  But this has driven me weeping, to my knees so often of late. 

 How many times can one be broken before it kills them?  How many times does one have to give their all, before it's enough? 

 God has brought me to the "breaking point" and I feel crushed beneath the weight of the load I have to bear.  But at the same time He keeps showing my he's right here... He's helping to carry it.  I'm not alone... my Savior walks beside me....

 This passage really stood out to me.  It speaks exactly what I feel, and think. 

 Psalm 55:4-8

My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah.
I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.

 And these verses really got me...

 Psalm 55:12-14

 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:
But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.
We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

 In all the pain, I've been forced to cry out for help.  And He has answered me.... not only with that still small voice... but with scriptures.  Verses that come up in conversation; verses that I see at random flipping through the Bible; verses that come in random emails; verses in random places.  They all confirm to me that God hears, and answers prayer. And He's answering this one too....

 Verses such as these....

Psalm 21:1-2

The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!

Thou hast given him his heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.

 Psalm 145:19

He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

 Romans 8:27-28

And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


 And with those verses came this "message"... "Prayer in the spirit is a powerful weapon"  Yes... yes it is...

 Anymore it seems easier to just give up and walk away... but it says in Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 I will carry on.  I have the promise in Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

 God is good, and He is still in control... it may hurt. It may seem like the "end"... but He keeps whispering to me "It's not over... I'm still in this. I'm still in control. Wait, and see. Be still and know that I am God."

 1 Samuel 12:7
Now therefore stand still, that I may reason with you before the Lord of all the righteous acts of the Lord, which he did to you and to your fathers.

 Ruth 3:18
Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day. 

 Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 37:34
Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.


   Still serving the Father.
     Hallie

Prentiss Poem

 A friend posted this poem... Mrs. Prentiss had a way of saying exactly what I feel, and have been learning. :)

The Safe Place

I went to Jesus with a prayer
      Upon a suppliant's knee;
Low at His cross I laid me down,
      Nor asked His face to see,
Yet whispered in His ear the tale
      No mortal ear could bear:
The story of a faithless heart,
      And of its self-despair.

I told Him how my feet had slipped,
      How often gone astray;
How oft my heart refused to love,
      My lips refused to pray.
In stammering words that none but He
      Hearing could understand,
I made complaint of careless work
      Done by a careless hand.

Of wasted hours, of idle words,
      Of love oft waxing dim,
Of silence when a warmer heart
      Had testified of Him.
I owned my weak and selfish ways;
      How often all day long,
Moanings and sighs had filled His ears
      To whom I owed a song.
And what said He? What whispered words
      Responded unto mine?
Did He reproach me? Did His love
       On me refuse to shine?

Nay, thus He spoke, and bent Him low
      To reach my anxious ear,
My child, thou doest well to lie
      As thou art lying here ;
I knew thy human weakness, knew
      Each lurking bosom sin,
Knew it, and yet in loving grace
      Thy heart I stooped to win.

I knew that thou wouldst often fall,
      Poor work for Me wouldst do,
Wouldst give Me only half thy love,
      Give praises faint and few.
And yet I choose thee. Be content
      And since thou canst not fly
To heights by dearer souls attained,
      Let it suffice to lie

Here at My feet; it is the place
      To which My loved ones flee;
They find it sweet, and so shalt thou;
      'Tis a safe place for thee.
Yes, it is sweet, and it is safe!
      And here will I abide;
Sinful, and yet forgiven, sad,
      And yet so satisfied.

~ Elizabeth Prentiss

Kingdom Musings

 Alright. So the last several posts have been how God has been helping me with my struggles and trials of late.

 Now it's time for something a little deeper....

 It seems so many think that we, as Christians should not get involved in trying to take back our culture, because it's not only a lot of work; but it's also "the end times" which means it won't be worth the trouble to do all that it would take to redeem our culture before Christ should return, and make it all better anyway.

 Here are my thoughts on the matter...

 I believe that Christians should get involved in trying to take back our culture.  It may be "sticky"... but Christ died for the people in the world; who are we to let them go because "it can't be helped"?

 Sure the Antichrist will come... but shouldn't we be more concerned for the souls of men who will be deceived, if we aren't busy about the Lord's work in taking back the culture?

 The Bible commands it.  So, even if God ordered us into a losing battle, still we must fight, because out Almighty Captain sent us.

 He never sends us to fight a battle that He, Himself will not fight along with us.  And, we know from the Word that He wins in the end.

 Even the greatest General in all of history could never have won a single battle, without soldiers fighting under his standard.

 The same with Christ.

 If called to a physical war, what would you think of the man who would shrink back from the fight because he was uncertain that he would survive the battle?

 So it is in God's army.  We are sure of victory.

 Wether we survive the fight or not makes no difference; because living or dying, we win!

 So yeah, it gets sticky... what of it?
 We have our orders.  What is there to do but to obey?

 I think the idea that it gets worse and worse, comes from everyone thinking it is the "end time".

 Everyone is so focused on the end of the world coming, that they don't have eyes for the work that has yet to be done!

 If you look at history, those that were burned at the stake for spreading the Gospel and such... they thought it was the end then! 

 We know now that it wasn't.  So when the like happens now, who are we to say it is the end now?

 Christ said to occupy till He comes....

 That leaves no room for hiding out until we see Him descending from the clouds.

 There is much that needs to be done yet!!!   Let's not shrink from the work He has for us.

 Those who suffered for the sake of Christ did not give up because.... it was the end, nothing could be done, it was destined to happen... they took up their cross, and followed Him!  What is our excuse?!

 Hebrews 12:1-2
 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

 I am in no way saying it is positively not the end times.  What I am saying is to stand fast on Gods word, and nothing can stop us in our endeavors to serve Christ. 

 Stand, strong and immovable.  Christ is still on the throne. In His strength we will conquer!


       To God be the glory
              Hallie

To God Be The Glory

 Here I feel the need to write another post... but haven't the slightest idea of what to say. :P 

 So, here goes nothing ;)

 God has been teaching many lessons of late. But the one foremost in my mind at the moment is Patience. 

 Now, I'm certain most of you know what a big deal patience is for me.... I am by no means, patient. :P 
 But, that doesn't stop God from teaching it to me. Goodness knows how much I need to learn it. :} 

 The other day, the pain from these present trials was so intense, I didn't know where to go, or what to do... except to God, and to surrender it all over again. 

 I have trouble surrendering things. Because I always like the silly sense of security in thinking I still have some sort of say over my future. 
 That is very silly. Because I've never had any say. God has always had final say.  But He holds back His best, until we are willing to give Him our all. 

 So, I've been learning to give it all to Christ.  But leaving it there, and not worrying about it anymore has been a problem. 

 Now that I've given it, I need to trust it to Him, and know that His choice is best.  No matter how much it hurts right now. In the end it will be worth it. 

 Giving my future and all over to Christ has been a great relief... but I get impatient at times.  I see things happening with others, and I want it fixed now! 

 Lately I've seen how I trust Him with myself, and my future... but I have trouble trust others to Him.  
 I almost don't care what happens to me in the future. Just so long as those around me come out okay.  

 This is where I have yet to learn patience. ;)  

 The other day, in the intensity of the pain, I asked God to show me what was coming next in all of this....  He led me to....

 Proverbs 25:2
       
         It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. 

 That was sufficient to shut me up. :P 

 What right do I have to ask what is next? Can't I trust Him with the future as I could the past? 

 So, in all the hurt, and the uncertainties... I can trust, and rest in God. And be patient, and wait on His timing.  

 As of yet, everything that has happened on His time, has been the best.  I can wait for it. :) 

 Also, been asking for the strength to make it through this, the worst trial I've had as of yet... then this promise of God comes to mind....

 Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

 With such promises, how can I be restive under His restraining hand? Is He not all powerful? Is He not enough?  He will bring it all to an end in His time. And oh! what a happy consummation of so much worry, fear, and heartache. :D

  To God be the glory. Not only in pain, grief and heartache... but also in joy, love and hope. :D

       Hallie