Friday, October 19, 2012

That Haunting Loneliness

 Dealing with loneliness is hard.

 We have all heard "Christ is all you need, there's no need to be lonely" and while that's true... there's still that longing for human affection, beyond that of a friend.  Nothing will change that.  There is no getting rid of it. There is only commiting it to Christ to be used for His glory.  And yes, He can use it for His glory. :)

 It seems we treat loneliness as a sin, and something to be shunned.  Really it's an emotion God has given to help us feel our need for each other.

 We all need friends.  But this need is something beyond that of normal friendship.  Something that most want.

 There are some that abhore the idea of every marrying.

 There are some that have just gone out and married the first one that came along. And are now regretting it.

 There are still others that found the right one quickly; married and setteled down long ago.

 Then there are those who have waited forever, and have seen their friends all around, married, and happy with their families. While those of us who have waited for the right one are sitting here wondering will it ever happen?

 We look around on our happy friends, and their families; then we look up and say "God, when is it my turn? What about me? Isn't there someone for me?"

 Yes, there is.  If God gave the desire to marry, He has a reason for doing so.

 It seems all we do is wait, and nothing happens.

 God has not forgotten us.  He's testing to see if we will remain faithful to Him.

 It's so easy to just walk away from the way He has us in, and go the way of the world, just to find someone.   But that's a false love, and will not, cannot last.

 The real test is... will we stay with Christ through it all?  Will we turn our back on the world and say, in spite of our feelings - Not my will, but Thine be done! Wether together with the one I love; or wether I'm solitary, I will serve You.  No. Matter. What. - ?  Do we have the courage to say that? and to live it?

 Yes, God made us to be with other people. Yes God made us to want to be married.  But are we willing to go with Him even if He sees fit for us to be single always?

 We all may think it's a long time to wait.  We all know (or think) that we're ready: but it hasn't come.

 Let's not worry about if it will ever happen. Let's not worry about wether the "one" knows if we're ready.  Let's spend this time in prayer, and study for the future.

 God only gives the trials He knows we can handle.  It's just we don't know that yet ;)   He'll never give us more than can be endured.  He will give us more than we can handle alone, so we will be reminded of our need for Him.

 That lonely, hollow feeling won't go away until we're married.  We don't have to "get rid of it", we do't have to hide it.  We have to trust it to Him, and make sure our hearts are full of His love, so we're ready for the other kind when it comes.

 But while we're waiting for the right one, while we're getting ready for the right one; let's be careful who we are interested in.

 It's so easy to think "oh, well they're nice, we get along alright, they're a Christian and all" and we lose sight of the true purpose of marriage.

 If we see someone we think we like, or maybe love; we need to examine why we love them.  What is the reason we are interested in them?   Is it because they look good? or because they love God?  Is it because they are smart? or because they know what they believe, and are ready to die for those beliefs?   Is it because they know how to talk well, and can keep up an interesting conversation? or is it because they can talk freely with God, and can truely pray without ceasing?   Do we love them based on virtue? or based on lust?  Do we have the same beliefs? the same goals? or are they just nice, and we can put up with differences because we'll never find "Mr. or Mrs. Perfect"?

 There are so many reasons we can love someone.  And I'm sure we'd all be amazed at our real reasons for "loving" someone, if we just examined them.

 If  I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that this is the only person I could ever be comfortable around; the only person I could love in this way; the only person I would willingly, and gladly marry - chances are it's the right one.  Then just wait for God's timing.

 But if we think we love one person, and want to marry them; but can still look at others as a possibility: it's not right.

 If we can't be faithful to the one in our thoughts, then we won't be faithful in reality.   If we don't keep our hearts now; we'll never do it then either.

 Proverbs 4:23
 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

 God gave us hearts to be given to one person. We need to keep it pure.  Not giving out little pieces to this one and that one until the right one comes and there is nothing left.  Keep it pure; keep it locked up in the chest of God's wisdom, and when the right one comes, God will give them the key needed to access it. :)

  So there was my preaching at myself to get past todays lonely. ;P

      In the service of my Father


  1. My mom and I spent a 2 hour drive talking about this very same subject. And came very near to the same conclusions. Thanks for sharing. It's very encouraging!

    1. I have spent countless hours discussing this very thing with my dearest friends. And this is what I've come up with from my study. Most of them are pretty well at the same point I think.

      You're so welcome. :) Glad you found it encouraging. :)

  2. I like reading this: it's very human. Often, we throw out things like "God provides" or "God loves us" as if we were discussing pizza. We live in a reality with people who really hurt, who really desire, who really hate, and who really love. Depending on God is a continual process that really takes time and effort, and it's very draining. But I thank God that I can.

    I will pray for you.

    1. Yes, the way in which we speak of such things is very flippant.
      We do live in a reality with real, hurting people. And by God's grace we can be concious of it, and do something to help. :)
      Depending on God is hard at times, but He never asks us to do anything He Himself won't be there to help with. :) He is an amazing God. :D

      Thanks. :)

  3. You are absolutly right Hallie! It does feel lonely at times but what matters is that we seek Him through it all. Thanks for this post.

    1. Thanks girl. :) God is there through all the lonely. :) And at times it's exciting to see what He's doing through the lonely. :D