Never Forgotten

 Summer is here and that is our busy time. Especially now that we are working for ourselves again.

 Moving things in from storage, and settling our new house. Doing repair work around the place, as well as for the neighbor. Hay season is coming up fast, and I hear that gets hectic. Possible fencing work, and hopefully mending. Oh! And the enormous garden to keep up.  Busy summer ahead.... which also means less time to spend online.

 So, here I am ignoring the many drafts that have been waiting so long already for completion, and taking a moment out of the busy day to write this, as it's been weighing heavy on my mind the last few days.

 To my brothers in Christ: I have a way of getting busy, and forgetting to give you the encouragement you need - in words.  I often think of you, and wish I could be of help or encouragement to you, but time doesn't always permit that.  With things getting so busy I've not been so consistent with emailing or chatting as I should be; but just because I'm busy doesn't mean you are forgotten.

 I know it's tough for you being out in the world working, traveling, studying or whatever: having all the trash in our culture thrown at you endlessly. Even at home there's things you battle with. Maybe not worldly things, but doctrinal things that keep you forever fighting for truth.
 You need encouragement, you need us, your sisters in Christ, to be there to support and encourage you. And often we get too busy for that - at least I do, far too often.

  The saying goes "behind every good man is a good woman".  We need to be there to support you, and encourage you to be godly men, and mighty leaders.

 It's hard to be a leader with no followers, or with followers who are indifferent to you.  And no leader can bear the weight of such a responsibility alone. Everyone needs support at some point.
 Just like Moses couldn't hold his arms up for long alone; and had it not been for Aaron and Hur, the battle would have been lost. (Exodus 17)

 If a mighty man of God, like Moses, needed support, I imagine everyone does.

Stand By God's Man ~ John Marshall Family
In the valley there is war, with the battle raging sore:
Bravely on the faithful fight, while they still have little light.
Moses hands are heavy now, but they must stay up somehow:
Else the battle will be lost, and they pay an awful cost.

So God used them, Aaron and Hur; steady hands held strong and sure"
Faithful men stood by his side - stayed until the evening tide.
Thus the rod of God stood tall, and the people did not fall.
Vict'ry came: the battle won - as they saw the sinking sun.

Chorus:
Stand by the man of God today - hold up his hands and plan to stay.
You are needed in the fight, as he stands for truth and right.
Stand by the man of God today - hold up his hands and work and pray:
Vict'ry surely will be won. Yes, before the sinking sun.
Stand by God's man.

Now across this sin sick land, there are men who take a stand.
But the war is fierce for some - tired and weak they have become:
Men are fallen left and right in the fading, flick'ring light.
Men of God, oh do not fail! For God's word will still prevail.

Faithful men around you stand, lifting up your heavy hands:
They will love and work and pray - 'til the battles end they'll stay.
So lift up the word of God - for we all must see that rod:
Soon the battles will be o'er - we will surely win the war.

Chorus:

Stand by the man of God today - hold up his hands and plan to stay.

You are needed in the fight, as he stands for truth and right.

Stand by the man of God today - hold up his hands and work and pray:

Vict'ry surely will be won. Yes, before the sinking sun.

Stand by God's man.

( listen here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTZP2wadXI8 )

 So, all of that to say - If I'm not talking to you, you're in my prayers.  

 "Men of God, oh do not fail! For God's word will still prevail!"

What Is Beauty?

 Listening to something on the radio today got me to thinking... and we all know that's dangerous. That's why it doesn't happen often. ;P

 Anyway, the man on the radio said "Women are the center influence in the home; whatever they do effects everyone around them, inside or out." And I have to agree with that... it seems whatever attitude we girls have, effects the attitude of those around us. This works negatively, and positively. As to which one... that depends on us.

The positive effects:

 Proverbs 31:23

  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

 The negative effects:

 Proverbs 5:3-6

  For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:

  But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

  Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell. 

  Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.

 The strange woman's ways not only effect those around her, but herself as well.  

 Believe me, it's easier to be the strange woman than the virtuous woman. 

 Okay, so now you're wondering what this has to do with beauty, I know. Just hold on, we'll get there.

 Proverbs 31:10
  Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 Often times we girls forget just how powerful our actions and attitudes are. No, not as in how feminists  talk about "girl power", but as in how God talks about "girl power".

 We forget just how much influence we have on the world, from our own home.  We influence our family, and all who come to our homes, and then they go out into the world, and that influence then carries into how they influence others.  This is pretty serious ladies.



 Now we get into what this has to do with beauty.

 We girls (generally, but not always) put a great deal of importance on looking good.  We have this idea that guys like pretty girls (and they do) so, the thing to do is try to be pretty always.
 There is nothing wrong with looking nice. We need to be careful about dress, cleanliness and all that.  But there's something far more important to being pretty that we need to pay closer attention to.

 Inner beauty is much harder to acquire. But it's far more important.

 As the man on the radio said "We have to be beautiful inside before we can have outward beauty that is genuine."

 Whatever is in the heart will show on the face. Make sure your heart is right, then the rest won't matter so much, because it will be taken care of.

 We get things backwards here.  We're trying to look good outside, and not paying as close of attention to inner beauty, instead of working on inner beauty and letting the rest take care of itself.
 Before you say "But wait! The other matters too!" I know.  But outward beauty is a side effect of inner beauty.
 You can try all you like to be pretty outside, but if your heart isn't pretty, the outer beauty won't last.

 Something the man said about what inner beauty is, that caught my attention... "Not winning arguments, but people to Christ, is the goal."
 That struck me.  We are so easily distracted by wanting to look good, either in form, or in our intelligence level.  We have this desire to "win the argument" so we don't look stupid.  But part of inner beauty is caring about the other person, not about making a good impression.

 Proverbs 31:20
  She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

 But remember, not only is charity/kindness a main aspect of inner beauty... but so is wisdom.

 Proverbs 31:26
  She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

 True beauty is more than skin deep. Inner beauty makes outward beauty so much prettier.

 Proverbs 31:30
  Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

 God is the source of true beauty. God is beauty.  We need to keep our focus on Him, and trust Him with everything else.  When we do that, we're more beautiful than any beauty queen.

 Proverbs 31:29
  Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 

I'm A What?

 That's right. A Princess.

 Now, before anyone laughs at this observation, let me tell you what I mean in saying it.

 Since we have been redeemed through the blood of Christ, are we not God's children?  Is He not King over all?

 Aren't children of earthly kings called either a Prince or a Princess?  As children of the One True King, are we not then either a Prince or a Princess?  
 We are? You're sure of that?   Good. Then let us proceed....

How are children of earthly kings expected to behave themselves?  

First of all, I should think, since they bare the royal family name, and at least one is being prepared to one day take the throne, they are not allowed to break the laws of the realm, and do as they please simply because they are royalty.
 This seems to be a common misconception (at least among Americans ) that royalty can do whatever they please, and no one can tell them no since they are in fact royalty, and have final say.
 How often we forget how many kings have been put to death for breaking their own laws.

 With that in mind, why do we, as children of the Almighty God, King of all the universe, think we are ever justified in not following His laws, and living in a manner that brings more honor to the Royal family name of Christian?
 As children of the Almighty King, surely we have more reason to live honorably. Surely ours is the greater weight of responsibility?

Romans 8:17
 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with Him, that we may be also glorified together.

 There are ever so many things I could talk about on this subject, but the other points will be covered in future posts. So let this suffice for now.

 Keep in mind who you are as a child of Almighty God, a son or daughter of The King, and live accordingly.   Read the letter (Bible) He has given you, and follow His instructions. They will never lead you wrong.

 Should you go wrong, remember He is not only King of all, but a loving Father, who is ready and willing to forgive those who are repentant and willing to give up sin in exchange for His glory, and bringing more honor to His spotless name.

Let It Go

 The song Let It Go from Disney's Frozen has taken the world by storm. Or so it seems.

 Everyone seems to be singing it, many have been recording it themselves, and the rest of us are doomed to having it stuck in our heads.  I have heard it many times, and don't like it.  Many have tried to explain to me how it is a good song, and perfectly acceptable, but it still doesn't set right with me.  Some may think I'm too hard on it, or judging it too much... but I see it as a dangerous song, and herein I shall attempt to explain the reason why.

 "The snow glows white on the mountain tonight,
  not a footprint to be seen.
  A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.
  The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside.
  Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried.
  Don't let them in, don't let them see.
  Be the good girl you always have to be.
  Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know.
  Well now they know!"

 So far not much trouble. She seems to be lamenting a mistake made.  Except that last line... that's where the rebellion comes into her voice.

 "Let it go, let it go!
  Can't hold it back any more.
  Let it go, let it go!
  Turn away and slam the door.
  I don't care what they're going to say.
  Let the storm rage on.
  The cold never bothered me anyway."

 So whatever it was she was supposed to keep in, that got out... she is now yelling out in rebellion, saying she doesn't care.  She's going to "turn away and slam the door"... Rather than making right the wrong she was just lamenting - she is now walking out on responsibility.

 And, if what she did wasn't wrong, then she made it wrong by walking out instead of standing up and doing what was needed.

 Correct me if I'm wrong - but doesn't wrong doing - or at the very least, messing up "slightly"- require repentance and making it right?   Would it not be wrong to suddenly blurt out in frustration/anger about something and walk out, shunning responsibility?

 "It's funny how some distance,
  makes everything seem small.
  And the fears that once controlled me, can't get to me at all
  It's time to see what I can do,
  to test the limits and break through.
  No right, no wrong, no rules for me.
  I'm free!"

 Ah, here we go. Being free from fears is not at all wrong... but being free from rules, right and wrong, now there's the problem.
 Wrong is defined as sin, and sin is defined as lawlessness, the law being the law of God.

 1 John 3:4

  Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.

 As for being free... freedom is not found in rebellion. Never has been. 

 John 8:32
  And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
 Romans 8:2
  For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.

 "Let it go, let it go.
  I am one with the wind and sky.
  Let it go, let it go.
  You'll never see me cry.
  Here I'll stand, and here I'll stay.
  Let the storm rage on."

 So now, after openly declaring her rebellion, she is stubbornly "standing her ground" in rebellion.
 Proverbs 17:11
  An evil man seeketh only rebellion: therefore a cruel messenger shall be sent against him.

 "My power flurries through the air into the ground.
  My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
  And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
  I'm never going back; the past is in the past!"

Here's another problem with the song that I have yet to see anyone even attempt to explain away... "My power" and she's building a castle of ice without a single tool... it's all with the waving of her arms.  That my friends, no matter how you want to view it, is witchcraft.

 Galatians 5:19-21
  Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
  Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
  Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

 "Let it go, let it go.
  And I'll rise like the break of dawn.
  Let it go, let it go
  That perfect girl is gone
  Here I stand, in the light of day.
  Let the storm rage on!
  The cold never bothered me anyway...."

 The whole song is about her or, for the others who are picking up on the song, it's about "me" what "I" can do, what "I" think is best, what "I" want.  It's not about helping others, it's not about serving the Almighty Creator. It's about "me".

 Now I know what some are going to say.  "The song is out of context. It's not about rebellion if you have it in context"  Alright, I'll grant that.  But if you need context to understand that it isn't rebellious or selfish, then why is the song being taken out of context and sung all around the world? Why are there video clips, and recordings of the song by itself?

 Rebellion is something sinful human nature gravitates to.  If this song is only good in context, but not alone, then it shouldn't be listened to, and especially shouldn't be being endorsed by Christians, or those who profess to be Christians.

 Our culture is a shambles already, and this song is only drawing people deeper into rebellion which isn't doing anything toward cultural reform.

 This song may be alright in context (which I find hard to believe, but will grant it for sake of argument having never seen the movie) but it is being taken out of context, and being endorsed, when lyrically, it encourages sin in all who hear it.    This is not pleasing to God, and least of all, when coming from His children.

 Philippians 4:8
  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 

 There is no virtue expressed, or even mentioned in this song.  In which case I say - Let it go.

Unsung Hero

 He doesn't go about slaying dragons, or fighting big glorious battles, riding home on his white charger and galloping off into the sunset with his bride.

 This is a different sort of hero. A special sort. Very special.

 This hero fights his battles inside. Unseen, unheard of, hard battles. By himself.
 He has no white charger.

 This hero fights hard, inner battles.

 This hero gets up, goes to work, battles rush hour traffic, fights his temper, puts up with insults, ridicule, and filth from people at work, on the road, and in the store.

 This hero doesn't have the finest armor, and often it doesn't shine.

 This hero doesn't say much.  He doesn't talk about his battles. He fights them alone. Not always because of pride, but because there is no one willing to help him fight.
 He fights alone because he fears he is the only one that feels the wounds. And these wounds are deep...
 This hero often will not say it, but he doesn't do well with being ridiculed, and laughed at; so he avoids it as much as possible.

 He is constantly harassed, and wounded. Beaten down for every little advance he makes.  Often discouraged from the fight.

 So often he turns his weary steps homeward, looking for comfort and relief.... when he comes home he's tired, worn out, and bone weary.... and there's no cheerful face to greet him at the door.

 His princess doesn't run out to meet him, and usher him in as a victor.  

 Most of the time it's as if he had no princess, and was returning to an empty, war torn castle.  

 Often times sadly, his princess is not understanding of him, and says things that hurt him. Like putting salt in his wounds....

  Sometimes his princess wants to go somewhere, wants him to help clean the castle, and help make supper.

 His princess gets upset with him when he comes home discouraged. She gets upset when he says he's tired, because after all, he got to go somewhere, when she was "cooped up" in the castle all day.

 Often his princess doesn't praise him for the victories he gained that day. She doesn't encourage him, and build him up for the next day's hard battle.  

 Instead, she says things to belittle him; cutting things.  

 He does this day in, and day out.  Every day he's up and facing the foes again. Often feeling inadequate, discouraged, and out of strength.  He's not yet healed from yesterday's battles when it's time for today's battles.  It's been that way for years. 

 He fights these battles - knowing he'll lose many of them - because he loves her. 

 He goes out day after day, with little to no help or encouragement - because he loves her. 

 He musters what little strength he has left and fights on, tho' he's wounded and bleeding - because he loves her.  Because he wants to protect her, he wants to care for her, and because she means the world to him. 

 The wounds she gives him hurt more than those received in battle, because she's the one that matters to him, she is the one he looks to for healing and comfort. And often he looks to her in vain. 

 She wounds him deeply, almost daily... but he doesn't say anything - because he loves her. 

 Often times he wants to say something; he wants to tell her how it hurts... but he doesn't know how to, much of the time. And even when he does know how, he often doesn't - because he doesn't want to hurt her. 

 Thus he continues on alone, wounded, and out of strength; fighting battles that are more than can be fought alone. 

 It's this that makes him a hero... he goes on. 

 He continues on, fighting for what he believes is right even when there is little, or no support.  

 He goes on serving his God, and caring for his princess even when it all seems pointless, and for naught. 

 "This hero" is not just one man, but many..... our fathers, brothers, husbands, cousins and friends. 

 Girls. The men in our lives are far more of hero's than we like to think.  And they need our love and respect. They need our support!  And it goes way further than just words.... it has to be actions as well. 

 The guys face things on a daily basis that we often don't even think about.  Hard things.  And they're facing them alone because we, for the most part, don't care to pay attention.   Or, maybe we do care... but we're not careful to show it. 

 We need to rise up in support of our hero's.  

 I talk to guys a lot.  And with the host of different things they all face daily, the underlying problem they all seem to face, is lack of support from us girls. 

 We were made to support the men, so they wouldn't have to go on alone.  We've neglected to fulfill the  very purpose for which we were created, and they are suffering for it.  

 There are so many things the guys need our help with. But they - much of the time - will not mention it themselves. 

 Do your part, and ask your fathers, brothers, cousins, husbands and in some cases, friends what it is they need help with.  They may have to think on it for a while. They're not used to offered help really; but give them time, and then no matter how small the thing they ask, do it.   Sometimes it's the little things that help them most. 

 To all you unsung hero's out there.  Thank you for what you do.  We do appreciate you.  

 Remember this. No matter how small the victory, no matter how small a thing it is you do... You're still a hero. 

Male/Female Friendships - A Female Perspective

Guy/girl relationships. What is appropriate, what isn't?

Here is an issue where there seems to be much confusion. While I don't pretend to know half of what there is to know on it, hopefully I can at least shed some light on it from what I've seen.

We often talk of the modesty issue, and even address the aspect of touching: Are hugs appropriate outside the family... etc.   But here is an aspect that is often overlooked (to my limited knowledge): Conversation.   What is appropriate between guys and girls in relation to conversation?

While these verses apply to all of life, and not only our conversation, in this particular instance I will only be applying them to how we interact through words.

Philippians 1:27-28

 Only let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ: that whether I come and see you, or else be absent, I may hear of your affairs, that ye stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel;

And in nothing terrified by your adversaries: which is to them an evident token of perdition, but to you of salvation, and that of God.

Here we see that our conversation should be centered on Christ and the Kingdom work; encouraging each other and working together for His glory.   “I may hear of your affairs”... Is our conversation with the opposite gender such that we have no cause to be ashamed should others hear/see it?

Hebrews 13:5

 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

We think of covetousness as wanting things that aren’t ours… the other person’s heart is not ours - is our conversation such that it will rob the other of their heart?  Are we content in the place God has us? or are we out trying to “win their heart” because we’re not content to wait on God’s timing?    There is a time to work at knitting hearts together. But it is to be started by the man, and only after much prayer and serious consideration; only then can he try to “win her heart”, and only in a godly fashion.

Something that I see to be harmful (and this is spoken out of personal experience) is when a guy tells a girl that he loves her.  It happens a lot (that I have seen) and while the guy may insist that it is only meant as a brother, and the girl may say it’s alright… it still causes the girl to give her heart to the guy without meaning to.   As a girl who once said it was “alright”, and “I know how it’s meant”, it still caused unholy thoughts, it still caused the heart to stray in spite of efforts made against it. It still took the purity from a heart meant for one man only.  This is no light matter.  This is nothing to be careless with, or “make allowances” for.  This is sometimes called “playing with fire” and there’s good reason for it.   When all is said and done it causes great shame to one or both parties involved.

Psalm 50:23

 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that ordereth his conversation aright will I shew the salvation of God.

How do we order our conversation aright? How do we glorify God through our conversation?  Let scripture interpret scripture…

1 Timothy 5:1-2

 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;

 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

This leads to another question: How do brothers and sisters treat one another? “With all purity”.  What is purity?  

“Purity consists of ‘clean hands’, innocence…”  “Purity is related to guiltless, blameless, or innocent behavior.”  “The focus is on moral purity or purification: chastity; innocence in one’s attitude toward members of the church; and moral purity or uprightness. Purity is associated with understanding, patience and kindness; speech, life, love, and faith, and reverence.”

 Reverence is a high form of respect. If we truly love and reverence them, we will show that love and respect by doing our utmost to guard their heart, and to be, ourselves, blameless should their heart stray.   Our conversation should be such that there is no cause for either party to stumble.

2 Corinthians 1:12

 For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.

“In simplicity and godly sincerity” this would be without empty, meaningless flattery, or over complicating things. Speaking the truth in love, and not straying from the purpose of the conversation.

“Not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God” - again, Christ is to be at the center of our conversation.

 “Not with fleshly wisdom” - not drawing attention to ourselves with our “wisdom”, but keeping the focus on Christ, asking for His wisdom.

Ephesians 2:3

 Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.

 All of us have made mistakes in the past. We have all been “fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind” through our conversation in the past. We still do it.  We “were by nature the children of wrath”, but through Christ have been made the “sons of God” (1 John 3:1-2) which affects how we should conduct our conversation.

Ephesians 4:22-24

 That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;

 And be renewed in the spirit of your mind;

 And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.

Philippians 3:20-21

 For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ:

 Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto His glorious body, according to the working whereby He is able even to subdue all things unto Himself.

I have heard many times in reference to young people being careless in their conversation, and being hurt because of it “that’s just how young people are, they’ll grow out of it.”  This is a wrong perspective. The scriptures say differently:

1 Timothy 4:12

 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

One is never too young to take responsibility for their actions, and also very importantly, their conversation, and strive to glorify God through it.  We must be conducting our conversation in wisdom, and knowledge - going against the “normal” accepted carelessness.

James 3:13

 Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

It is the man’s responsibility to lead the relationship and to guard the girl’s heart, but that does not lessen the responsibility of the girl to guard his heart as well.   We girls have a great deal of sway over the guys, and we need to be aware of that and use it wisely.

1 Peter 3:1-2

 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, as any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

For us unmarried girls it is right to “be in subjection” in so far as we do not take the lead, nor push the guys to do anything but draw nearer to God.  But that is to be the extent of our subjection, until marriage.  

Girls, guys largely go with what we appear to be comfortable with in a relationship. If we don’t set strict boundaries, we are causing them to stumble.  If we “be nice” and make allowances for things (such as accepting terms of endearment) we are not guarding their hearts, and are in grave danger of losing our own.

Accepting terms of endearment from a man who is not (yet?) your husband is stealing what is not yours.  Even if you end up marrying him later in life, you have not saved those special things for marriage.   Imagine he is married, just for sake of argument: would his wife be comfortable with the way you talk? would she be alright with him saying he loves you, or calling you such things as “sweetheart” and the like?   Whether we like to think about it or not, the guys we talk to are married, in that if we aren’t going to marry them, they will be marrying someone else; if we allow our conversation to go beyond the confines of “all purity” with chastity we are stealing the innocence from him that should be preserved for his future wife.

Guys. When you call us girls “sweetheart”, “doll”, “precious” etc., you are stealing little bits of our hearts. When you tell us “I love you” one on one you are not guarding our hearts, guarding our innocence, or preserving those special terms inviolate for our husbands one day.  Upon the occasion of marriage those terms should be new and special, not “old hat”, and having been used to the point of not being special anymore.   When you use those terms for us, you are stealing bits of our hearts, so in the event that we should marry, we can no longer give our whole heart to our husband; it is now pieced out to many others.    We girls cannot simply “take back” our hearts once they have been given.  Once even a small bit of our hearts have been given, the one to whom it was given has a piece of it forever. It’s how girls are, it’s how we were made.  We were made to be a “help fit” for our husband one day, which means we have this natural desire to belong to a guy. And a guy that makes us feel that we belong in that way will have a part at least, if not all, of our hearts.    Please be understanding of this, and be careful that you don’t steal our hearts away from our future husbands.

In closing here is a verse to keep in mind as we seek to conduct our male/female relationships in “all purity”:

Ezra 7:23

 Whatsoever is commanded by the God of heaven, let it be diligently done for the house of the God of heaven: for why should there be wrath against the realm of the King and His sons?

What Does Marriage Mean?

 As this subject has come up in conversation a lot anymore, I've decided to write up a real answer to the questions I get.

 There are many things I've been asked, but it all comes down to one question: What do you look for in marriage? 
 There are many answers to this question. But since it has been presented in such a way as to ask my personal view on it, I shall attempt to answer it from my own beliefs on the matter.

 I typically avoid discussion on this subject because of all the misconceptions, and faulty views expressed by others.  Also because I'm not your typical female, and am not a "hopeless romantic".

 To answer the fairly common question "Don't you even want to marry?":  Yes. From my experience most do want to marry at some point, and I'm no exception to the rule.  But I have a different view on it than most.

 First of all, I am not comfortable with what I shall dub the "mushy" aspect of it that others seems to look forward to a great deal.   I'm sorry, but marriage means more to me than license to kiss when ever you want to. That's a sick reason for marriage, in my opinion. (It probably doesn't help that I've never liked kisses of any kind...)

 Marriage is more than just this "boy meets girl" and being twiterpated the rest of your life.

 I am in no way saying that romance is awful, or not needed. Romance is needed... but it's not all it's cracked up to be. There is much more to life.

 Marriage to me is a union of two congenial spirits. A merging of two harmonious minds and hearts seeking to honor and glorify God in all things, placing their love for each other second to their love for God.

 So often we see others marrying someone they get along with. Someone they don't agree with all the way, but they marry anyway because they can "make it work". Often important matters are overlooked because it is believed once they're married they can work through it.  This is a recipe for broken homes.
 Sure, you're not going to find someone you can agree with fully on every issue. But certainly we (as a society) could stop settling for second best because "we'll never agree fully anyway".

 Young ladies: What we're looking for in a husband is not some "cute guy" that is "ripped" and witty.  I'm sorry, but those are hardly things that qualify someone for the duties of marriage.  And the "cute" face will get old, the "ripped" figure won't stay that way forever, and the wit will become very irksome.
 We also can't just go for any guy that shows interest.  There has to be some harmony of spirit; some unity.

 There are qualifying characteristics to look for in a guy before marriage is considered.

1) Is he actively pursuing his walk with the Lord? or is he content to say he's a Christian, but not take his position as such seriously?

2) Is he a gentleman?  No, not one of those overly refined, flowery speech sort. The kind that will guard not only your heart, but those of the other young ladies he has contact with.

3) Does he know where he is going? Does he have purpose in life?   Many think they are ready for marriage, but the only thing they have by way of a long term goal is getting a good paying job.  There's more to life than having money and learning to jog on together after the initial excitement of getting married wears off. ,

4) Does he have solid beliefs? Is he standing firmly on the word of God in the face of opposition? Most importantly, is he living out those beliefs?
 Add to that: Are you in agreement with him? Can you trust him to the point where if a matter arises that you disagree on, you can differ to him, and trust him to make a decision on it whether you think he's right or wrong?   Do you share the same beliefs/thoughts/convictions, enough that you can trust him to make right choices on any subject, knowing he will do his utmost to bring glory to God through it?

5) Does he have the same goal in life as you?  One can't marry a person, having different vocations/callings in life and expect for the marriage to not suffer as a result.


 Young men: You are looking for more in a wife than a pretty face, fine figure, and witty tongue.    One day that pretty face will wrinkle, the fine figure will change, and the witty tongue will get tiresome.  
 Something I see happen a lot.  Guys often will overlook a gem of a girl who isn't a "raving beauty", and marry a "raving beauty" who is shallow, and a flirt.   Guys, I know you're driven by sight more than girls are... but please don't pass over the dull looking treasure for the shiny bit of trash flashing at you.
 Granted, there are beautiful girls, inside and out. But there are more that are only beautiful outside, and that beauty doesn't last long.

Things young men look for in a wife:

1) Is she actively pursuing her relationship with Christ?  Not a Christian in name only; having no idea of how to live out her faith.  Is she studying to better herself, and to be prepared for what the future may hold?

2) Does she guard her heart? Is she careful to not capture the attention of other young men for sake of liking the attention? Is she striving to always be a lady, and being considerate of the guys around her? Controlling her tongue?

3) Does she have purpose in life? Do her goals and desires go beyond that of getting married one day?

4) Does she respect authority?  Will she submit to you even on matters whereon you disagree?  Will she support you in your calling?  Is she forgiving?  Women have a tendency to "throw it in your face" every time you make a mistake. Is she willing to overlook your shortcomings, and encourage you to be a better man?

5) Is she content with where God has her? or is she restless and always wanting something different?


 A well matched couple will have harmony of thoughts, unity of mind and spirit, and an understanding between them unmatched by their acquaintances.   There should be perfect kinship.  A desire to glorify God together, through their vocation.

 If there is no unity before marriage, it's pretty safe to say there won't be any afterward either.

 Marriage is more than just an attraction between a man and a woman.  It's two people seeking to better serve God together in unity.

 Few of us know anyone with which we have such unity.  But whether we know someone like that or not, we should begin now to pray for the other, and ask God to cause you to have that Christian unity when it is His time.

 We would have far less broken homes if we put more prayer into marriage before it happens.

 A Christian Home 
O give us homes built firm upon the Savior,
Where Christ is Head and Counselor and Guide;
Where ev'ry child is taught His love and favor
And gives his heart to Christ the crucified:
How sweet to know that tho' his foot-steps waver
His faithful Lord is walking by his side!

O give us homes with godly fathers, mothers,
Who always place their hope and trust in Him;
Whose tender patience turmoil never bothers,
Whose calm and courage trouble cannot dim;
A home where each finds joy in serving others,
And love still shines, tho' days be dark and grim.

O give us homes where Christ is Lord and Master,
The Bible read, the precious hymns still sung;
Where pray'r comes first in peace or in disaster,
And praise is natural speech to ev'ry tongue;
Where mountains move before a faith that's vaster,
And Christ sufficient is for old and young.

O Lord, our God, our homes are Thine forever!
We trust to Thee their problems, toil, and care;
Their bonds of love no enemy can sever
If Thou are always Lord and Master there:
Be Thou the center of our least endeavor -
Be Thou our Guest, our hearts and homes to share.