Waiting... Still...

 So, everything has flipped upside down.   My worst fears are happening right before my eyes.... I can't do a thing about it... just have to stand back and watch. 

 The world could end today and I wouldn't care.    The pain is so intense.... yet I feel nothing... how can that be? 

 There is nothing left... and yet it's still being taken away.   Thought I had surrendered... why this? 

 When you give your all, where does God find the "more" to be purged? 

 Walking as one in a fog.  I feel like the "end" has come... but the worst is yet to be. 

 How can it get worse?  It's like walking in a fog, uncertain of where the cliff is. You know you're close... but can't stop walking. 

 Waiting for the "crash"... but through it all God has given such a peace. 

 I'm not one to give in, and cry. I'm not one to admit defeat.  But this has driven me weeping, to my knees so often of late. 

 How many times can one be broken before it kills them?  How many times does one have to give their all, before it's enough? 

 God has brought me to the "breaking point" and I feel crushed beneath the weight of the load I have to bear.  But at the same time He keeps showing my he's right here... He's helping to carry it.  I'm not alone... my Savior walks beside me....

 This passage really stood out to me.  It speaks exactly what I feel, and think. 

 Psalm 55:4-8

My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me.
Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness. Selah.
I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.

 And these verses really got me...

 Psalm 55:12-14

 For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him:
But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance.
We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company.

 In all the pain, I've been forced to cry out for help.  And He has answered me.... not only with that still small voice... but with scriptures.  Verses that come up in conversation; verses that I see at random flipping through the Bible; verses that come in random emails; verses in random places.  They all confirm to me that God hears, and answers prayer. And He's answering this one too....

 Verses such as these....

Psalm 21:1-2

The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!

Thou hast given him his heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.

 Psalm 145:19

He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them.

 Romans 8:27-28

And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God.
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.


 And with those verses came this "message"... "Prayer in the spirit is a powerful weapon"  Yes... yes it is...

 Anymore it seems easier to just give up and walk away... but it says in Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

 I will carry on.  I have the promise in Isaiah 41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

 God is good, and He is still in control... it may hurt. It may seem like the "end"... but He keeps whispering to me "It's not over... I'm still in this. I'm still in control. Wait, and see. Be still and know that I am God."

 1 Samuel 12:7
Now therefore stand still, that I may reason with you before the Lord of all the righteous acts of the Lord, which he did to you and to your fathers.

 Ruth 3:18
Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall: for the man will not be in rest, until he have finished the thing this day. 

 Psalm 46:10
Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.

Psalm 37:34
Wait on the Lord, and keep his way, and he shall exalt thee to inherit the land: when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it.


   Still serving the Father.
     Hallie

Prentiss Poem

 A friend posted this poem... Mrs. Prentiss had a way of saying exactly what I feel, and have been learning. :)

The Safe Place

I went to Jesus with a prayer
      Upon a suppliant's knee;
Low at His cross I laid me down,
      Nor asked His face to see,
Yet whispered in His ear the tale
      No mortal ear could bear:
The story of a faithless heart,
      And of its self-despair.

I told Him how my feet had slipped,
      How often gone astray;
How oft my heart refused to love,
      My lips refused to pray.
In stammering words that none but He
      Hearing could understand,
I made complaint of careless work
      Done by a careless hand.

Of wasted hours, of idle words,
      Of love oft waxing dim,
Of silence when a warmer heart
      Had testified of Him.
I owned my weak and selfish ways;
      How often all day long,
Moanings and sighs had filled His ears
      To whom I owed a song.
And what said He? What whispered words
      Responded unto mine?
Did He reproach me? Did His love
       On me refuse to shine?

Nay, thus He spoke, and bent Him low
      To reach my anxious ear,
My child, thou doest well to lie
      As thou art lying here ;
I knew thy human weakness, knew
      Each lurking bosom sin,
Knew it, and yet in loving grace
      Thy heart I stooped to win.

I knew that thou wouldst often fall,
      Poor work for Me wouldst do,
Wouldst give Me only half thy love,
      Give praises faint and few.
And yet I choose thee. Be content
      And since thou canst not fly
To heights by dearer souls attained,
      Let it suffice to lie

Here at My feet; it is the place
      To which My loved ones flee;
They find it sweet, and so shalt thou;
      'Tis a safe place for thee.
Yes, it is sweet, and it is safe!
      And here will I abide;
Sinful, and yet forgiven, sad,
      And yet so satisfied.

~ Elizabeth Prentiss

Kingdom Musings

 Alright. So the last several posts have been how God has been helping me with my struggles and trials of late.

 Now it's time for something a little deeper....

 It seems so many think that we, as Christians should not get involved in trying to take back our culture, because it's not only a lot of work; but it's also "the end times" which means it won't be worth the trouble to do all that it would take to redeem our culture before Christ should return, and make it all better anyway.

 Here are my thoughts on the matter...

 I believe that Christians should get involved in trying to take back our culture.  It may be "sticky"... but Christ died for the people in the world; who are we to let them go because "it can't be helped"?

 Sure the Antichrist will come... but shouldn't we be more concerned for the souls of men who will be deceived, if we aren't busy about the Lord's work in taking back the culture?

 The Bible commands it.  So, even if God ordered us into a losing battle, still we must fight, because out Almighty Captain sent us.

 He never sends us to fight a battle that He, Himself will not fight along with us.  And, we know from the Word that He wins in the end.

 Even the greatest General in all of history could never have won a single battle, without soldiers fighting under his standard.

 The same with Christ.

 If called to a physical war, what would you think of the man who would shrink back from the fight because he was uncertain that he would survive the battle?

 So it is in God's army.  We are sure of victory.

 Wether we survive the fight or not makes no difference; because living or dying, we win!

 So yeah, it gets sticky... what of it?
 We have our orders.  What is there to do but to obey?

 I think the idea that it gets worse and worse, comes from everyone thinking it is the "end time".

 Everyone is so focused on the end of the world coming, that they don't have eyes for the work that has yet to be done!

 If you look at history, those that were burned at the stake for spreading the Gospel and such... they thought it was the end then! 

 We know now that it wasn't.  So when the like happens now, who are we to say it is the end now?

 Christ said to occupy till He comes....

 That leaves no room for hiding out until we see Him descending from the clouds.

 There is much that needs to be done yet!!!   Let's not shrink from the work He has for us.

 Those who suffered for the sake of Christ did not give up because.... it was the end, nothing could be done, it was destined to happen... they took up their cross, and followed Him!  What is our excuse?!

 Hebrews 12:1-2
 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

 I am in no way saying it is positively not the end times.  What I am saying is to stand fast on Gods word, and nothing can stop us in our endeavors to serve Christ. 

 Stand, strong and immovable.  Christ is still on the throne. In His strength we will conquer!


       To God be the glory
              Hallie

To God Be The Glory

 Here I feel the need to write another post... but haven't the slightest idea of what to say. :P 

 So, here goes nothing ;)

 God has been teaching many lessons of late. But the one foremost in my mind at the moment is Patience. 

 Now, I'm certain most of you know what a big deal patience is for me.... I am by no means, patient. :P 
 But, that doesn't stop God from teaching it to me. Goodness knows how much I need to learn it. :} 

 The other day, the pain from these present trials was so intense, I didn't know where to go, or what to do... except to God, and to surrender it all over again. 

 I have trouble surrendering things. Because I always like the silly sense of security in thinking I still have some sort of say over my future. 
 That is very silly. Because I've never had any say. God has always had final say.  But He holds back His best, until we are willing to give Him our all. 

 So, I've been learning to give it all to Christ.  But leaving it there, and not worrying about it anymore has been a problem. 

 Now that I've given it, I need to trust it to Him, and know that His choice is best.  No matter how much it hurts right now. In the end it will be worth it. 

 Giving my future and all over to Christ has been a great relief... but I get impatient at times.  I see things happening with others, and I want it fixed now! 

 Lately I've seen how I trust Him with myself, and my future... but I have trouble trust others to Him.  
 I almost don't care what happens to me in the future. Just so long as those around me come out okay.  

 This is where I have yet to learn patience. ;)  

 The other day, in the intensity of the pain, I asked God to show me what was coming next in all of this....  He led me to....

 Proverbs 25:2
       
         It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. 

 That was sufficient to shut me up. :P 

 What right do I have to ask what is next? Can't I trust Him with the future as I could the past? 

 So, in all the hurt, and the uncertainties... I can trust, and rest in God. And be patient, and wait on His timing.  

 As of yet, everything that has happened on His time, has been the best.  I can wait for it. :) 

 Also, been asking for the strength to make it through this, the worst trial I've had as of yet... then this promise of God comes to mind....

 Isaiah 40:31

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. 

 With such promises, how can I be restive under His restraining hand? Is He not all powerful? Is He not enough?  He will bring it all to an end in His time. And oh! what a happy consummation of so much worry, fear, and heartache. :D

  To God be the glory. Not only in pain, grief and heartache... but also in joy, love and hope. :D

       Hallie

Joy In Sorrow

 Well, here it's been quite some time since I've posted last... but so much has happened. So much has been learned.

 I hear people talking about going through tough trials, and how "the crash" hasn't hit yet... but it will soon enough.

 Well.  I've now experienced "the crash" and know for certain I don't want it anymore. :P

 Of all the trials God has been leading me through, this is the hardest.  I just want it all to end.... not the work God is doing... but my own silliness, and childish ways.

 I've never been able to cry much when things happen to warrant it.  But as one friend said - God will fix that - when she said it, I thought, Yeah right. I don't cry.   Ha! Guess I had another think coming. :P

 In all of my past trials, I could hide them. I could keep from crying. I could go on as if nothing happened.   But not this time.

 This time the pain is too much to bear alone.  This time the tears won't be held back. They force their way out.

 In all the pain, in all the fear, and sadness... the depression, and loneliness; God has made Himself more real to me than ever before.   He's not some distant being that we pray to every morning, hoping He'll somehow hear us.  He's a friend, a brother that's right here. He's here holding me through all of this.  Not only holding my hand walking me through... but carrying me as well. :)

 This morning I couldn't hold in any more. After all the pain this week has brought, I had to let myself cry.   So I smothered it in my pillow, and cried out to God.

 Lately I've learned to stop asking for the trial to be removed... but rather to be asking for strength to carry on.

 This morning, with my head buried in my pillow, smothering the sobs, hoping nobody else could hear them; I got to the point where God has been trying to bring me... and for the first time in my life, I admitted I can't handle this on my own.  For the first time ever, I asked for help.

 I don't ask for help.  It just doesn't seem right.   But this time it got so bad, I literally asked God to either help me carry the load, or to kill me.  I can't go on another step without Him.

 In asking for answers to some questions that have come up in all of this... I did what I've never done before, and told God I was going to open my Bible, and the first two verses that met my eyes, I would take as His answer to these questions.

 I've always thought it was rather presumptuous to say that... but you know. It's God's word. His word is unchanging.  It applies to all of life. Why then would we not be able to find His answer in His word?

 So I picked up my Bible, and looked at the edges of the pages.  There was a slight gap between some pages in the middle. There's always slight gaps between pages... but this gap caught my eye.

 When I opened it at the gap, my eyes lighted on the middle of the first page... it was Psalm 21:1-2 which reads thus -

 The king shall joy in thy strength, O Lord; and in thy salvation how greatly shall he rejoice!
 Thou hast given him his heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of his lips. Selah.

Wow!  After all that weeping, feeling anything but joyful, admitting weakness, and thinking my requests were impossible; god gave me that answer!   How then can I not rejoice?  He is so good to them that love Him!

 With an answer like that, I know He hasn't forgotten me, and will carry me through this trial. :)
 But it doesn't end there.  You all go through these trials too... He's there for every one of you. :)  He loves us all. :)

 So even though my heart wants to break. Even though I can't carry on another step. Even though it would be easier to die. The pain is too much... God is still on the Throne, and He walks with me every step of the way. :)


                To God be the glory.
                         Hallie

Windows And Hot Dogs

 Okay, so as you can tell by the name, it's another crazy post of mine ;)

 So, this happened a few years ago.... a little too recent for me to list exactly when it happened ;) (also because I can't remember the exact time) :P

 Our family went to a friends bunkhouse to help clean it, and while we were there the church had Youth Night there at the bunkhouse.

 While trying to get the bunkhouse cleaned in time for the "kids" to come, my sister was washing to sliding glass door.... and she did her job all too well. :P

 While bustling about doing the last minute cleaning, and whatever else need done; my brother, and I think Dad...? were getting the fire pits ready outside for roasting marshmallows and hot dogs.

 Just as the cars our friends were in, were turning down the quarter mile drive way; my sister came running in from checking the fire pits, and didn't realize that the glass door was shut.... and slammed right into it.

 Now, they were all in their cars, coming down the drive way, and no doubt couldn't see her hit the window... but she was embarrassed just the same as if they had seen it.    And I laughed..... NEVER laugh at someone.... it will happen to you... only worse. :P

 Later that evening, I was part of about the largest group of youths, sitting around one of the fire pits, roasting hot dogs.  We had to go inside to get the buns and such to put the hot dogs on... which meant going through that blasted door.... :P 

 The pastor's son was just ahead of me going through the door, so I figured he would leave the door open.... well, I had to think again. :P haha

 I was talking to one of the pastor's oldest sons, and a few of the girls; when he (the son) said something to me as I was about to go through the door.  

 I also happened to be holding my hot dog on a stick in front of me as I walked... and when I turned to see what he was saying to me - I hit the door that the other son had just closed. :P  

 Now, when my sister hit it, it made a small thud noise..... but me? NO!  When I hit, it was a loud KABLAM!! 

 But, not only was it loud... I was talking to a group of people, who all happened to be looking at me at the time.  When they started laughing, Everyone had to look. :P  

 It really would have been funny hitting a window, while talking to several people, and making a loud noise..... if it hadn't been for the hot dog squished on my forehead; and the black greasy smudge left on the window. :P 

 That was super embarrassing for me at the time... but trying to be tough, and not cry over something so silly.... I stood up tall, and walked inside like nothing had happened.  (big mistake)

 Just as soon as I got inside, the pastor's son (the one who closed the door on me :P) seemed to have missed what had happened.... or at least pretended to. :P  And instantly pointed at my head and said "you have black grease on your head" 

 If ever there was a time when I wanted to crawl under a rock, it was then. :P 

 So, I think I effectively learned my lesson.... don't ever pretend nothing is wrong, when the whole world can see there is.  It just makes you look like a bigger fool :P 


   Anyway, I have a million and one more stories like that... but haven't the time to type them all up. :)  And y'all probably don't want to read any more like this. ;) 


             

                  Just for kicks and giggles. :) 
                                Hallie

Finished Baby Quilt

 This is the first block completed.  Everything but the bonnet, arm, and apron is satin stitched. :)

 This is the second block completed. Like the other, all but the bonnet, arm and apron are satin stitched. :)

 This one came third, and even the bonnet is satin stitched on this one. :) So, it took a little longer than the rest of them. :)

 This one was a puzzler, as I couldn't, for the life of me figure how to do the crazy french knots. :P haha
 Unlike some think.... those are both kittens, not dogs. ;)   The heart is added in by imagination. :)

 This is my favorite block, because of the colors, and she just looks gentle, and dainty as little girls should be. :)   The spots on the cat are added in by imagination. :)

 This one, you can't see very well... but the flowers on the dress are a different shade of pink from the rest of the dress. :)
 The wood grain on the trim work, and chair legs was all added in by imagination. :)

 This is the final block for the pillow. :)  The basket is satin stitched with different browns and all.... you just can't see it well in the picture. :P

  This is the front of the finished pillow. :)

 This is the back of the finished pillow. :)  It's a light lavender. :)

 The front of the finished quilt.  With lace added, the seams stitched over with hearts, the white squares tied, and the butterflies quilted on all the purple blocks. :)

 This is one of the butterflies; there is one on every purple block. :) (not the strips... just the blocks)

 Detail picture of the lace around the edge; the tie in the white blocks; and the heart stitching over the seams. :)

 The plain, white back. :)

 The corner of the plain, white back ;)

 So, here are the pictures for you all, because that's probably all most of you will get to see of it.

 All of the stitching was done by hand, excepting the hearts along the seams; that was done with a machine.

 I hand quilted around every one of the little girls, and hand stitched the butterflies.   All the quilting was done before I put the back piece on, so the back is just tied. :)

 After a year spent on this thing, it will be hard to part with it. :/  But the little girl it's going to is so sweet, and precious; and I trust her mother to teach her to care for it properly. :)  So, knowing her mother, this quilt should last for the next generation. :D


 Sorry it took so long to get the pictures up..... I had it almost done, then Mom and my sister kept suggesting other things to do on it.... such as the butterflies..... so, it took longer to finish than I thought. :P

 My sister drew the stencil for the butterflies..... (I could Never draw that good.)  :)

  So there you have it. :)


                  To God be the glory. :)  He's the one who made me able to do all of that. :D
                              Hallie